Dear Ex-Best Friend

Dear Ex-Best Friend,

I went to one of our favorite stores yesterday and bought a pair of jeans. This isn't the first time that I've gone without you, but for some reason unknown to me, I thought of you. I thought of you as I was trying on the different pairs of jeans and as I oohed and awed over the different styles that I saw. And for the first time in a while, it hurt.

I think of you from time to time. I smile because we have so many wonderful memories together. Memories that are just ours. What we had was special. It was the cheesy, reading each others' thoughts, finishing each others' sentences, fighting like sisters, knowing the other person like the back of your hand kind of friendship. You taught me so much about myself and if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't undo the close bond that we once had.

Going through our friendship dissolving felt worse than any break-up and left me heartbroken for a good while. I walled myself off for a while because I didn't know if I could handle losing another best friend like I had with you. To go from being attached at the hip to being ships passing in the night, it was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. And if I'm being honest, it still hurts occasionally because I still miss you.

I didn't ever think it would be possible to go from what we had to having almost nothing. I used to think that our friendship was going to stand the test of time, and it did for a little while. I guess I always thought that life was going to be like a movie where we stayed close forever, but life isn't a movie, it's life. People grow and just because we grew apart does not mean that I quit wondering how you are, how your family is, or what your current dreams are.

I used to think that it was silly to compare our growing apart to a break-up but I just can't find any other way to describe it. To care for someone so much but to know that our paths are just taking us in different directions. And in case you were wondering, I still care for you. I still pray that the Lord would provide blessings in your life and that He would keep you out of harms' way. But most of all, I hope that you have found a best friend who you can share everything with and know that you will be safe to be yourself. Because you are silly and beautiful. You are kind and caring. And you are so creative and I just hope that you don't ever shy away from being your true self.

So, I bought a pair of jeans and I smiled. Because for the first time, I realized that maybe it was okay that we grew apart. Maybe we had grown as much as we could in our friendship and our growth ultimately took us in different directions. But as I walked out of the store with my new jeans, I thought of you and how you had left a mark on my life, and I smiled because without you, I wouldn't be me.

Sincerely,

Your "used-to-be" Best Friend